The Journey Home

We’re all looking for that safe place where we can be ourselves, a place where our thoughts are listened to, mistakes are not judged and whenever we need a kind word we can go there and feel rejuvenated. You’re probably not aware that you entered this world with a sacred space. Only you are in charge of this safe place and what goes in it. This gift of the heavens is there to keep you connected to your higher self, to your dreams, yearnings and inspirations, to your purpose and destiny -- the reason you were born. This is your inner spa, a place you can retreat to feel refreshed; a place where the magic of beauty and love take over and heal your wounds returning you to the world stronger and more determined than ever before. However, if your childhood was not filled with love or a sense of safety, then you had to   make a choice, you could keep your inner world protected so that you had one place that was all yours; a place no one could contaminate or feeling defeated you could give in to negativity.  Once pessimism takes up camp inside, it gains power through repetition.  Every time you feel defeated or hurt, your inner voice will say you’re stupid. Now you no longer need an angry parent, a bully at school, a judgmental world, you’re doing it to yourself. The tragedy is that once it’s within you, it’s always with you – until you decide that you deserve more.    

The journey home, the journey back to self takes effort. If you’re lazy you won’t take charge and negativity will win. This is a battle you must embrace consciously, because your automatic pilot will just repeat what you’ve always said and negativity will be perpetuated. To begin, ask yourself the two most important philosophical questions of all time, “Who am I and where am I going?” It’s so easy to get lost in today’s chaos. If you don’t have an answer, then begin the quest. Experience is the best teacher; give yourself as much of it as you can. You won’t discover who you are unless you throw yourself into life and try new things. Gaining self-worth when you weren’t given it as a child requires patience and repetition. A negative thought doesn’t just disappear because you want it to; it’s an automatic response that needs you to challenge it. If the first thing you say when you make a mistake is “you’re stupid,” then substitute it with something more self-affirming: “Okay you didn’t get it right but you will do better next time.” Your first mission is to stay conscious and contradict the voice that holds you down. 

Your perception of yourself is more important than anyone else’s opinion. When it’s good, others will respond. If you didn’t have a positive view of yourself, you still may become successful, but you won’t enjoy it, because inside you don’t feel you deserve it. Self-acceptance is the first step, that means everything – all the flaws and imperfections. Once you accept you, no one can put you down and you will begin to see the world in a new light. 

The fastest way to connect to yourself is through meditation. When you mediate you shut out the world and listen to yourself. A long walk in nature is also a healing experience. Nature helps realign your energy. Music has that power and so does dance. If you’re creative then any artistic endeavors will be an outlet for your true self. These things bypass the brain and connect to your spirit. If there’s no one to share your thoughts with, write to yourself. Express your anger on paper. Allow yourself to get upset and say all the things you never could. Give those lost and disowned parts a voice. Go to therapy; join a discussion group. Choose your friends wisely. When you commit to yourself, change begins to happen. Wake up every morning and say, “I accept and deserve love and success in my life.” If you can work on just three things: emptying the garbage can, expressing your thoughts, and becoming your own best friend then you will return to your truth and never be able to lose yourself again. 

The Journey Home - Life Coaching by Linda Joyce